#114: What Inspires You to Write? What Keeps You Going?
Some thoughts on daily word counts, deadlines, what worked for the greats, and what seems to be working for me lately
Hello my friends,
I hope you’re having a nice day today. I thought it might be nice to write a stream-of-consciousness journal entry and send it out, sharing what’s on my mind in this moment.
The other day, I shared a bit more of my thoughts about the election — the sadness that so many of us are feeling, but also the feelings of resolve and resilience to keep going and stay true to our values in the coming weeks, months, and years.
It often feels like there’s nothing I can say that hasn’t already been said a thousand times or more — but I think there is something beautiful in the repetition. Sometimes, it’s the shared grief that heals the quickest, or for the things that can never heal, the grief that is helped the most simply by holding it together. I don’t believe we are meant to suffer alone. Together, we can bear witness to each other and lift each other’s spirits, simply by being there for one another. What do you think?
Today I’m feeling all over the place…
Just now, I was helping my dad lift some heavy boxes, and I could feel the age in my legs and knees. I tried to remember back to my football days when I learned the proper way to squat so I wouldn’t injure my back, but still, I felt a tingling in my kneecaps afterward — that can’t be good. I’m also a bit of a hypochondriac, so I suppose it might all be in my head.
How has writing been lately?
Writing lately has been going well. Last month (I can’t believe it’s already November), I started a new novel project. I’ve decided to shelve the project I wrote during my graduate school years in my MFA program at NC State. I really love that novel, but I think a lot of it was just me vocalizing and writing through trauma as a way to make peace with and heal from things that have happened in my life. I don’t know if it’s necessarily the book I want to publish as a debut. So much of it feels, at least to me, a bit too raw. Perhaps this is just a story I’m telling myself to put off the publication process longer. Maybe, in a few years, I’ll change my thinking and just send it out to agents as is — I don’t really know.
My writing life has been quite peripatetic. Since the beginning — when I started writing as a child, through high school, college, screenwriting, and graduate school — there have been many ups and downs, stops and starts. I don’t know about you, but sometimes these pauses make me question whether I’m even a writer in the first place. I seem to struggle with object permanence. Even though I always come back to writing and it’s an identity for me as much as a creative practice, when I’m in a bout of not writing, I feel like a phony or a fraud. Impostor syndrome kicks in, and my fancy degrees melt like putty through my hands. The years of progress seem to evaporate, and I’m left sitting there, second-guessing everything.
To combat this feeling, I’ve been partnering with one of my dear childhood friends, a terrific poet and essayist, Mallory Brand.
She and I have had some really lovely brainstorms these past few months, and we’ve arrived back at something that served my writing process immensely in my undergraduate and graduate years: the word count.
The word count…
The word count goal, or a daily deadline, instills a sense of urgency and grounds my daily work in the task itself, rather than the perceived outcome. Different things work for different people, but I’ve noticed that this method works for me.
Over the years, I’ve tried different styles of this. During my MFA, my roommate and I used to set timers and read aloud the pages we’d written. It was definitely effective, but I felt too much of his influence on my style. Another method involved emailing a chapter-length piece to two friends in my program and my best friend, under the assumption that they wouldn’t read it but would simply ensure I was staying accountable.
This time, I decided to try a different tactic with Mallory. To keep myself feeling as free as possible, I allow myself to write whatever strikes my fancy on any given day. Journaling, stream-of-consciousness, work toward my novel, a short story, a poem — it all counts toward my daily word goal as long as it’s new and written that day.
What does it look like on a daily basis?
Each day, whenever I find the time to sit down and write, I aim for at least 2,000 words in a sprint. Sometimes it takes 30 minutes; other times, it takes two hours or more.
My mood, preoccupations, experiences, and the amount of sleep I’ve had greatly influence what I choose to write about (naturally).
Once I’m done, I send Mallory a screenshot of the word count — not the words themselves. That way, she keeps me accountable, but I have the freedom to write about whatever moves me that day. It’s tremendously effective.
This daily practice has started to heal the trust between me and the writing process — a trust that often feels strained when I take long breaks. It’s a trust that I think is absolutely necessary for following through on longer works. It helps quell the anxiety of whether I’m truly a writer and reassures me that the muses and ideas floating around in my head can rely on me to be their vessel.
What do the greats say on this matter? This anxiety and fear?
Many writers have spoken about this trust. There’s a quote about how the muse doesn’t always appear at your desk, but when it does, it’s better to be found working. I can’t find who first said it, but if any of you know it, I’d be grateful if you shared it in the comments below.
No matter how many pieces I publish — poems, essays, stories, blogs, or books — there’s always an anxiety in the back of my head about whether I’m a “real” writer. My best friend, ayandastood, has helped me make peace with this idea. Some doubts and anxieties will always linger, even if our rational brains wish them away.
If you’re feeling stuck or hesitant about committing to a daily practice, you might consider Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art. While I don’t love his warlike metaphors, much of what he says is on point. Alternatively, you might look to the wisdom of Stephen King, Margaret Atwood, Ann Patchett, or Elizabeth Gilbert, who have all written about the creative process in ways that resonate deeply with me.
Recently, I was watching a YouTube video by Brandon Sanderson, a prolific novelist I admire (though I don’t personally read his work). He talked about how writing in the modern era requires knowing yourself well enough to discover what motivates you. In the age of endless distractions, I found his thoughts about his numerical obsession amusing and relatable.
I struggle with OCD, and like Brandon, tracking my progress actually gives me a sense of ease, even if it might feel restrictive to someone else.
Octavia E. Butler, one of my favorite writers, once said that writer’s block isn’t about not writing but about not making the progress you’re hoping for or when an idea feels elusive. She emphasized that writers should always try to write, even if the progress feels small.
All of these thoughts swirl in my mind as I work on my novel. I’m hoping this daily practice with Mallory will bring sustained change to my writing process. So far, it has.
A quick thought on NaNoWriMo…
I didn’t feel compelled to join this year. Did you?
While I love the idea of encouraging writers to sprint through a first draft, I didn’t mentally prepare for it, and now it feels a bit too late. Maybe next year! How about you? Are you participating in NaNoWriMo? Do structured challenges like that help your writing? Or bring unneeded pressure?
What works for you? What brings you focus, ease, and flow? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
Instead of editing this piece to death, I’m going to let it exist as it is and publish it now. I want to get more comfortable sharing my thoughts in the moment, rather than letting them sit in my drafts folder for months. All ways are valid, this is just what works for me.
Wishing you all luck with your writing endeavors,
Rooting for you!
Love always,
Alex
PS: You can find me on all other social media platforms at the handle alexlopezwrites :)
